Almost ten years ago, a small tourist town in Florida became known as my “Happy Place.”  I had not given much thought to why the place made me happy in the past.  I just knew that it made me happy.  Recently, I visited my “Happy Place” and thankfully it still made me happy!  I think that the more mature me really needed to understand the things that motivate me positively and negatively.  The mature me also figured out that my leadership as a stay-at-home mom, wife, and conduct officer had similarities in the emotional and physical demands on me.  As a result, this time when I visited the Happy Place I sat quietly with my thoughts to consider why happiness was the prevailing emotion every time I was in that place.

My family introduced me to my Happy Place after it was recommended by a family friend.  The initial visit was a thank you to me from my family for the work had done as a mom.  Ironically, the Happy Place was nested between the city we called home at that time and another city, but whenever I went to the Happy Place I felt like we were miles away from civilization.  My Happy Place was everything I needed in order to escape the stress of my life.  The Happy Place was quiet and picturesque.  It soothed my spirit and my mind without requiring much effort on my part.  All I did was show up there in order to basque in the consistent blessing of the peaceful atmosphere.

When I arrived at the Happy Place this time, exhausted described my countenance.  The routine of walking through life carrying the burdens and challenges of my daily grind made me exhausted.  For some of us, we have carried weights derived from negativity and problems and others from heaping portions of favor and good fortune.  A psychologist once told me that stress can come from the good and the bad.  While our minds may interpret the good as more beneficial, more positive, and less stressful, he said our bodies can absorb both experiences like the stressful life experiences.  As I sat, I remembered a time when my doctor advised me to steal away for a period of recovery.  She was concerned that my life was making me sick.  My mother was ill and I was her first call.  I was responsible for her affairs at the nursing home and with her team of care providers.  I also had a sister with challenges that kept me involved in conversations with her mental health team.  Moreover, I had the responsibilities of my roles as wife and mother.  I was exhausted.

Last week, I thought about my decision to describe myself as exhausted and why my Happy Place seemed to be a good remedy for my condition.  Exhausted people, in my opinion, were not just physically tired.  Exhaustion, for me, meant a physical and mental heaviness hanging like an anchor on my spirit.  Exhaustion tugged on my soul and made me feel like there was a ball and chain attached to the ankle of my dominant leg.  I told a friend that in those moments it seemed like there was a phantom person holding on to my shirt in the back in order to slow my progress.  My friend told me to pull away from that force and run away from it as fast as my feet would take me.

My Happy Place became my escape.  In that space, there lived freedom to release the weight of my life.  In the Happy Place, I surrounded myself with people eager to encourage me to rest my mind, my body, and my spirit.  In that environment, I learned that everyone needed a Happy Place and I needed that place more than I knew.  I needed a place confident in its strength to accept and carry the weight of my worries.  I needed a place capable of taking my troubles to the warm waters nearby and then letting those troubles roll out to sea.  I loved the visual of my burdens riding the waves out into the distance and then floating out to that place where the sun met the water.  I envisioned my issues touching the sun and then igniting into a million tiny pieces.  In the Happy Place, I envisioned those tiny pieces floating even further away from me in the vastness of the space beyond the sun.

I worked to train myself to remember those visuals after I left the Happy Place.  Additionally, I trained my muscles to remember what felt like the relief of dropping heavy weights on the floor after a deadlift.  The Happy Place reminded me of the value of holistic health practices on my physical, mental, and spiritual well-being.  In my Happy Place, I had permission to inhale the aura of fresh warm serenity while exhaling all of the tight coolness I brought into the space.  The Happy Place transformed me into a courier for restful calm thoughts as opposed to the chaotic, stressful thoughts that caused my exhaustion.

We all need a place that grants us permission to breath.  We need a place that welcomes us to release the burdens and pressures we deal with daily.  We all need a place that refuses to judge our method for coping, but just provides a comfy space that permits healing, recovery, and clarity of thought.  I want each person in my audience who leads at home, in the community, or at a job to incorporate the benefits of their happy places as often as possible.  Such a practice will enhance each of us personally while promoting positive energy in the places we go and in the people we encounter each moment of each day.