To Mama, with love!

Posted on Posted in Family Matters

I am so blessed to have had you as my mother.  You loved me unconditionally and supported me through the great times in my life and the most challenging moments I encountered.  We stood together during the illnesses of our immediate family members as a formidable team.  You were a rock and you displayed such quiet strength.  You were a quiet, pensive woman with a passion and love for your family and the students you taught.  Many people, including me, sometimes mistook your softness and quietness for weakness.  It took me growing up and maturing to realize you were a pillar of strength, courage, and love.

It took time to start feeling better about daddy dying and there have been days this last six years when I have sobbed over missing your touch, your voice, your advice, your laugh, your smile, or our conversations.  Being without those things has been hard and being without your physical presence right now is even harder. My family  has been excellent through it all.  Between my sister’s illness and daddy’s heart issues, we have always had a special caregiver relationship and you told me that one day I would be the one to care for you.  It was hard to become your caretaker and see you ill.  Sickness and death do not happen at times of convenience and my response to your needs couldn’t either.  I am so thankful for the folks who made adjustments in their schedules to help me travel, care for my kids, my dog, my husband, and you.

Mama we have been dealing with crisis situations since my childhood and you know the stuff nobody else does and we loved each other through it all.  God has shown himself faithful, reliable, and a God of amazingly awesome timing.  I am so blessed to have had you, Mama, and I know you felt blessed to have me.  I always wanted to make you proud and it was fitting that the last word I ever heard you say was “Proud.” My family remained supportive even when it wasn’t convenient because they loved you and respected the relationship and bond between us.  God provided many villagers to help me love you in the way you needed me as I moved and lived in three different states in the last five years.  The village cared and prayed for me, fed my family, checked on our precious Yorkie Swaggy, visited you, let me FaceTime with you, put the phone to your ear to let me get you caught up on our goings on, sent me pictures of you, got my kids to and from school in snow storms, purchased gifts for you when I didn’t get something in the mail on time, read to you, and did so many other things over the years to offer support and encouragement.  Mama, some friends even gave me keys to their homes so that I would always have a place to stay when I traveled to care for you.

His favor rested upon you and all who were in your presence.  I am walking in that favor.  I can say that in helping you make adjustments needed to care for others and by doing whatever we had to do whenever we had to do it I was well-prepared to juggle so many moving parts in my life to care for you.  I am now more certain than ever that God orders our steps and God does honor sacrifice. Ha! I couldn’t have and wouldn’t have written this script.

You fought the good fight! You were a good and faithful servant for all of the ninety years the Lord let you bless this earth!  Rest in peace until we see each other again. I love you, Mama!

6 thoughts on “To Mama, with love!

  1. Tears for your pain, Kim! I pray that you will find comfort in the beautiful memories of your are an amazing woman

    1. Thanks, Eileen! Caring for my mother has been a tough journey and being without her is tough also. In her death, I have learned so much more about her and feel a bit of pressure to be more amazing:-).

  2. Oh my goodness, Kim.
    I am all teared up. What an emotional and faithful post. I am so sorry for your loss, but so moved by all that you gained from this extraordinary woman.
    May she Rest in Peace and in His Glory.

    1. Hi Erin, thanks for reaching out. I so glad you grasped that my mama was an amazing woman. It’s hard to speak of her in past tense. I tried hard to craft a sentence that didn’t use past tense. Wow.

      1. Thanks, Felicia. I remember your family was one of the families that helped out when my dad was sick. You guys gave me rides from dance team practice to the hospital so that I could connect with my mom. She always thought you and I looked a lot alike:-).

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